One of my favorite prompts across all of the dating apps I’ve tried, is OK Cupid’s “you should message me if…” I admit when I first started using dating apps, my answer wasn’t well thought out and quite generic. It was probably something silly and/or generic. However, as I grew and began to understand myself and what I was looking for, I adjusted my answer to this prompt. It now explains that people should only message me if their favorite creative works and artists – books, movies, shows, music – include females. To me it’s a great indicator that they are actively thinking about the patriarchy and ensuring that they have gender representation in what they consume (Bonus benefit: the number of inappropriate first messages decreased significantly).

When I wrote that answer, I realized I need to make sure that I was following my own requirement. Not with gender parity. That I knew I had. But in making sure that my own choices included people of color and different orientations. In particular, this has resulted in very intentionally diversifying my bookshelf.

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